The Colbert Questionert

I was inspired by Maya to answer this questionnaire:

1. Best sandwich?
Peanut butter and jelly.

2. What’s one thing you own that you really should throw out?
My box of “good” boxes.

3. What is the scariest animal?
Piranha.

4. Apples or oranges?
Apples.

5. Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?
One time I queued up in a JC Penny (I was first in line) for an autograph from Olaf Kölzig, Vezina trophy winning goaltender for the Washington Capitals.

6. What do you think happens when we die?
Maybe there’s a long dream? But I think it’s darkness. Our brain stops functioning. If we’re lucky, the people around us grieve and occasionally tell stories that include us. Then our bodies decompose.

7. Favorite action movie?
This is a tough one… Armageddon.

8. Favorite smell?
The fur on my dog’s temples—that space between their ear and their eyeball.

9. Least favorite smell?
Drug smoke, specifically fentanyl. Black olives are a close second.

10. Exercise: worth it?
Fun physical activities? Sure. Rote workout routines at the gym? Meh.

11. Flat or sparkling?
Flat. Sparkling costs extra.

12. Most used app on your phone?
Safari, by far.

13. You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it?
Tom Sawyer by Rush.

14. What number am I thinking of?
Seven.

15. Describe the rest of your life in 5 words?
Mostly happy, then I die.